The past two weeks have somewhat been a blur. Running from location to location, changing clothes every five seconds, trying to organize all the shots of the music video, blah blah blah. I’m pretty happy with it given the number of times I was either told no, didn’t hear a reply, or was told yes and then had a no show in regards to both locations and people. For shits and giggles, I’ll list the high profile asks I made:
- Sir Mix-a-Lot: I’ve been trying to get this guy for awhile. In fact, I had originally written a spoof of the Matrix trailers for the first episode (which ended up being Snowmageddon instead) where he would play Morpheus. I got in contact with his manager through a very sweet friend of mine, and ended not hearing back until the first episode was released. At which point his manager was like — oh hey! I met with him and his business partner, spent an hour just kinda shooting the shit, drinking wine and laughing about being not Caucasian. Afterwards, I never heard back about getting Mix in a sketch. Then when I wrote “Seattle” I pinged him again, and then actually talked to Mix at this social media conference he was speaking at (yeah, no comment). Was he being mobbed? No. When I talked to him about the show, he didn’t really know what I was talking about (thanks manager). Like a lot of people, the manager and said partner were more interested in talking about their side business than anything we were supposed to talk about. A lesson I’ve learned rather quickly: People are SELFISH, but in subtle ways. Needless to say, I didn’t get Mix to sing the hook. Am I bitter? Not at all. I understand how things work.
- Tom Douglas: I saw him at the gym I belong to (yeah, belong to and go to, very different) doing a cooking demo. I went up to him and introduced myself, sighting that he’d actually already been in a video with Actor Ross, and told him about the show. I didn’t make an ask, but gave him a card and told that one day if I’m successful maybe I could get him to be on the show. Har har. I hate two things: being annoying and kissing ass. That was about 5 weeks ago, and then about 3 weeks ago a friend of mine that works at Dahlia gae me the email of one of his marketing or PR protectors. I sent a very nice email, detailing that I’d only need a very quick cameo. Never heard a reply.
- Melinda Gates: Ok she’s the only one that gets off easy. I know she’s too important, worldwide, and busy doing way more important stuff…but hey when you have friends at PATH, someone might know someone somewhere. I got an immediate no chance from said friends and that’s OKAY. I can deal with outright rejection, I’m an actor. I still love her and hope to meet her one day.
- Murray the Bartender: Okay well first of all, he doesn’t have a cell phone and his banana phone gets terrible reception. BUT I met him when I was at my friend’s art show, and she later sent him the song and the ask to be in the video…and he said yes! I then emailed him the info, and proceeded to never hear back. My friend said, hey I’m meeting him for a drink on St. Patty’s day, come join us real quick. Cool. So, in the midst of running around shooting, I stopped in to Whiskey Bar and did my diplomatic duties to lure him in. He said he could do Monday afternoon (two days before it’s supposed to be done), and that he’d let me know what time. I said, cool, I’m yours. No homo. Needless to say, I never heard back.
- Detlef Schrempf: I had a couple that were supposedly connected to, but one of my new friends who connected with me offering help after seeing the show seemed to get pretty close. Unfortunately though, he wasn’t in town or something. I still would love to meet him, and apologize for using a shrimp as his body double.
- Shawn Kemp: Well, I trolled his restaurant and I think I’m the only one who didn’t see him hanging out there. Through seven steps, I got connected to his friend who apparently sometimes fields requests… but he never picked up the phone. I guess you could say we got DISconnected, aaahhh hahahaha. I’m funny. I just want him to dunk on me, is that too much to ask? That’s seriously a childhood dream.
- Dave Matthews: Ok, I didn’t even try this one. I did get kicked out of Trader Joe’s though.
That’s just the PEOPLE I tried to get a midst filming, recording, and everything else… forget locations. Ironically, the only location that I actually had consent to record at was my homies at Marination Mobile. Was it because I’ve consumed about 100 of their tacos in the past 2 years? Maybe. But they were absolutely warm and accommodating, without asking for jack shit back. They even gave me some free tacos…which is of course, why I wanted to film there in the first place.
Anyways, this is way too long… but after what seemed like a very long two weeks, I feel good that I got it done and it didn’t suck. This was me vs myself in every sense and despite how I had drawn up the video originally, it turned out and I triumphed over the large part of me that wanted to give up. The video got posted on the PI with the writer adding
“Enjoy this slightly-uncomfortable rap video — too much eye contact! ” …wow, Seattle. You know, you have to learn to ignore the comments too…
I haven’t learned that lesson yet, so Michael Kranjeblowadickh… go fuck yourself.