One thing is true. I don’t know that I can do this. I don’t know if this is another failure that I will chalk up on my list, and not the type of failure that I learn from — but that type that’s a let down. To stay positive is so difficult and I just want to tell someone, “Sometimes I don’t believe in myself at all and maybe I’m just a stubborn idiot. I have gotten by being good at everything but never great enough to be who I (and loosely others) believe I can be.” Right now, just sitting in this coffee shop and making a production schedule, I’m realizing just how fucking much there is.
Point blank, I don’t know if I have the discipline and focus to get it done. I sound like a bitch, but it’s just being (mostly) honest with myself. All I know is that I’m going to try really hard, but it’s going to be tough. Anyways, it’s new years day. Closing the book on what has been a rather successful year in many regards. Goals for 2012: Pursue dream, find love. Just like losing weight, these are my recurring ‘resolutions.’